


Beyond the Wildest Dream

by nuznate



Category: Le Fantôme de l'Opéra | Phantom of the Opera & Related Fandoms, Le Fantôme de l'Opéra | Phantom of the Opera - Gaston Leroux, Phantom - Susan Kay
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, D/s undertones, Dirty Talk, First Time, Friends to Lovers, Hand Jobs, Insecurity, M/M, Masterbation, Pining, Porn With Mild Plot, Sexual Content, Time in Persia, Young Erik
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:55:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26120761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nuznate/pseuds/nuznate
Summary: He sees. He watches. He feels. And it will never be the same.
Relationships: Erik | Phantom of the Opera/Nadir Khan, Erik | Phantom of the Opera/The Persian
Comments: 10
Kudos: 23





	1. Chapter 1

Erik was feeling rather good with himself tonight. He was just back from the work trip he had made for the shah and in a mood to share his experiences with someone. That someone happened to be Nadir, always Nadir.

Ever since he'd met the Persian man, he found himself liking the company of him more and more. Nadir treated him like he was a person, not a monster nor an angel. All the illusion he had created seemed to fade around him. There had been a moment when he looked at him and he felt like Nadir could see him through all the layers of all his masks. He'd never felt so exposed, but it was unexpectedly the moment of relief; the weight he had been carrying was lifted out.

Being just a person to someone was satisfying. With Nadir, he could be Erik, just Erik.

Even though Nadir could be annoying at times, by being a daroga, with his piercing green eyes that always tracking him or sometimes judging him by his overly high morality, Erik still liked him.

Nadir was his first friend he ever had in his misery life, but not only that, sometimes he felt like a brother to him whom he could count on to have his back, and sometimes like a father, if he knew what real father would be, with all the scoldings he threw at him.

That was what made Erik liked him; Nadir's company was never boring and getting to tease something out of his usually stoic character was fun.

But Nadir was not his only friend. There was also his son Reza who was also now a good friend of him. He was a good boy, maybe a bit too good, maybe he needed a new role model other than his father to balance his perception of the world. The boy was eager to learn and easy to be pleased. He could spend hours with him and felt like it was just some minutes.

With them both, his life in Persia was not too hard.

It had only been a few months but now he was kind of addicted to their company so much that he tried to spend time with them whenever he could.

So, Erik made a detour to Nadir's house, even though it was already late at night, intending to surprise him with his unannounced visit.

He arrived at his destiny without any sound, gliding in the shadow so he wouldn't be noticed. The front door of the house was locked but Erik still saw light from the inside so he was certain Nadir was still awake.

He didn't need much time unlocking the door, neither did he need a key. He walked silently inside, had been here so many times before he knew all the way in this house like it was his own.

The house was quiet. No one was in the living room, not even a single servant on sight. Maybe Nadir was asleep after all. But the lamps were still lit, suggesting that the master of the house was still up. And Erik was already here, he still wouldn't like to go home and be alone right now. He decided to check for Nadir in his room.

He was at the wooden door of the master bedroom when he heard a faint noise coming from the inside. It was a high pitch noise like someone was in pain. He listened more carefully; it was the voice of a woman and suddenly there was a scream, not so loud but unmistakably a scream.

Erik was startled. Someone must be in pain and they might need his help. In alarm, he opened the door.

What he saw startled him so much more than what he thought. He felt like he was struck by a lightning, paralysed to the spot, eyes wide, unable to move or look away.

There were two people in the room, more specifically, in a bed; one was a man, completely naked with his back to Erik, he could see the tan body moving in the rhythm of their own love song, underneath him was a woman, he didn't see much of her, only her legs that locking around his waist and her arms around his neck, her body moving in time with the body above her and her voice filling the room.

They both were oblivious to the intruder at their door. So, Erik stared. He knew he shouldn't but he couldn't move. He was captivated by the way their bodies moved simultaneously. It was for a while after that Erik realised that was Nadir.

He kept watching the way the beautiful tan muscular body moved, his hip snapped up and down, sometimes with so much force Erik was afraid the woman under him would break, his ass round and firm and glowing under the lamplight.

Then he heard his voice, a low guttural sound, in contrast with the woman's high-pitched voice, it suddenly sent shivers down his spine.

And he felt what he hadn't felt for so long, with his whole body down to his core. It stayed there with the tightening in his pants.

When he realised what he was feeling, his realisation came with shame that shook him out of his trance and made him finally able to move. He closed the door with a shaking hand then walked quietly back out the front door with a shaking heart.

*

He rushed back to his house, his heart still hammering in his chest. He went straight to take a cold bath, hoping to calm the sudden desire that was burning inside him. He gritted his teeth and shivered when the cold water touched his skin. But the fire inside him still burnt.

He finished bathing and getting dressed with a certain feeling still there inside. He glanced at the violin, for a moment hesitated, then decided that wouldn't help. Instead, he went to his bed, hoping that sleep would wash away this unwanted need from him.

In the darkness, under the comfort of the blanket, he took a deep breath and closed his eyes. Almost instantly, his mind wandered to the scene he'd witnessed earlier. The image with sound playing in his head so clear that he felt as if he was standing at that door once again.

He knew now that this night was not going to be easy for him. He couldn't shake that image or the burning fire away that easily as he had hoped. The tiredness from the journey wore out his body but the adrenaline kept him awake.

He signed in defeat. He decided then with the new determination that if the feeling wouldn't go away he should instead study it.

He wasn't entirely new to this. He'd experienced it before. But that was some time ago when he was still with the gypsies. He hadn't the opportunity to actually get to know it, to see what it would affect him, and to see if he was like everybody else.

He readied his mind and let his body feel. The desire he was feeling was delicious. It tugged at him for attention. He acknowledged it but didn't do anything about it, trying to keep it in. He liked being in control of himself, especially over this kind of feeling. It made him feel pride at being able to overcome the sexual desire that he believed almost nobody could do.

So he let his mind wander, wanted to test his limits, to see how far he could go, how the fire would be able to burn him before he extinguished it, or If he could extinguish it at all.

He thought about that woman, with long black hair and honey skin. Her bare naked body before him. He licked his lips and pictured himself doing things to her, things that he'd seen Nadir did, things that he'd seen the gypsy couples did in that night years ago. He pictured her body underneath him, her legs spread wide, her breasts in his hands.

He didn't exactly know what it actually felt like to touch a girl or to have a girl. He could only imagine but he had a great imagination. He was half hard in his pants. The desire burning pleasantly but he could still handle it.

With a smug feeling, he let his mind wander further. He was at Nadir's door again, recalling that footage of memories; Nadir pounding into that woman so hard the bed was shaking. He suddenly felt himself growing harder.

He hummed to himself at that, wondering if he preferred watching someone else instead. The thought made a thrill running through him. To confirm his hypothesis, he resumed his mental image.

In his mind, Nadir was still taking that woman, the tan body muscles pulling taut, his hip bucking in and out and occasionally rolling and his voice low in his throat. Erik's whimper escaped his mouth without knowing. He felt himself breathing harder and harder as if he could actually feel it, as if he had been the one who was participating in it instead of observing from afar.

He let himself keep imagining, then, without control, his mind pictured himself underneath that body instead; the weight of Nadir's body was on him, trapping him, the heated gaze staring at him.

He gasped at the sudden desire that peaked through him. His cock twitched and now rock hard. He had to squeeze his hand on his member to ease the sudden urge.

He froze, his eyes squeezed shut, his heart skipped a beat.

What was that?

He was starting to lose control. But that wasn't what he'd expected he would lose himself with.

Why and how?

But he found he didn't want to think about that at the moment. His mind clouding with desire so high he could barely think straight. All he knew that at this moment, he wanted him.

_He needed him._

He couldn't hold himself back anymore.

For the first time, he let himself be defeated by lust. He was aware that he now became like any other ordinary humans but he didn't care.

For the first time, he put his hand inside his pants. He had seen people did it but he'd never tried. He never knew it would feel like this. Just the feeling of his hand around his cock overwhelmed him.

For the first time, he pleasured himself. He started to slide his hand along the length, from the base to the tip and back again. It was too dry that after a moment he started to feel pain. But for him, the pain only added up for pleasure. He watched his hand going up and down, then pictured another hand on him, that large brown hand wrapped around him instead. He moaned loudly, his head rolled back on the pillow.

He closed his eyes, let the picture of a certain man flood his mind and got overwhelmed. It was too much and yet somehow not enough. He picked up the speed. The precum dripped down the length made it slicker. Now the pain was gone left only the pleasure that had been building up and up and up. His toes curled when he finally felt himself tripped over the edge.

For the first time, he came, with a choked groan and one name escaped his mouth.

When the blissful moment had passed, shame came in instantly. In the darkness, he started to sob.

He thought he would let himself have this just once and it would go away forever.

Oh how he was wrong.

*

He wasn't avoiding Nadir. Erik told himself, he wasn't purposefully avoiding his friend.

He just happened to be very busy with all the projects for the sultana, since he had proposed lots of ideas and most, if not all, of them caught her attention. He had been summoned to the harem more frequently and spent much time there to present his work. He also may or may not volunteer to do some jobs for the shah that sometimes required days of traveling.

He still spent his time with Reza, though it was much less due to how busy he was. Erik was certain it was coincident that every time he visited the boy at his house Nadir wasn't there. It was not because he had known all of his work schedule or something.

So, no, he wasn't avoiding Nadir. It was just that he didn't have time to spend with him like before anymore.

He didn't interact properly with him for some time now, only some greetings along the hall when he unavoidably ran into him. Although he didn't see him much in the flesh, he clearly saw him in his mind all the time, especially when he was alone at night.

What he did to Nadir in his imagination, what he let Nadir do to him, was something he would never let him or anyone know.

He had tried. Oh, how he'd wished so desperately to push this feeling away; this abominable, repulsive and sinful feeling that he had towards another man.

It didn't bother him because he was a man. He never considered gender to be his problem. It was because he was his friend; having the feeling like this towards his friend felt wrong and forbidden, and yet he couldn't stop himself.

He had never wanted anyone so much like this before. It cut through him every time he realised who he was. How impossible it was for him to want this.

How utterly absurd for a monster to crave the love of an adonis.

Not only that but also when Erik thought of all the women he used to see leaving Nadir's house, only women, not once a man. His interest clearly didn't lie anywhere near him.

And he was but a man with the face of a monster.

Who in their right mind would want that.

So he kept it to himself, determined for it to be his deepest secret until the day he died.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first time writing explicit content so sorry if it's not smooth.  
> In the next chapter, Nadir will finally find out what's going on with Erik.  
> 


	2. Chapter 2

He was inventing some new toys for the sultana one evening when Nadir came to visit at his house. His servants were all gone since he'd already dismissed them for the night. So he was not prepared when he saw Nadir standing at his door.

He wished he could just act sick and send him away. That wouldn't even be a lie because just being near him did make him sick but in a different way.

"To what do I owe the pleasure?" he instead asked.

"Can't I just come and visit a friend?" Nadir said but there was something strange in his tone. He seemed troubled. Something told Erik that this wouldn't be just a regular visit.

Although he didn't want to, he had no choice. He stepped back and let Nadir in. After he closed the door, he retreated further into the parlor and stood with his back to Nadir.

Without delay, Nadir began a conversation like he didn't want to waste any more time.

"I don't understand, Erik. What happened that made you push me away like this?"

"I have no idea what you are talking about," he answered with the coolest tone he could muster. He tried to act nonchalant, though he couldn't turn to face him.

"You can fool anyone but you can't fool me, Erik."

Erik's brow furrowed at that. "What do you mean?"

"What are you hiding?"

Erik took a deep breath and slowly turned to face him. He shrugged and then smirked.

"Besides my face, you mean?"

Nadir seemed frustrated but he still remained calm. However, his voice lowered dangerously when he asked. "What are you doing? Are you plotting something right now? Some wicked things perhaps?"

"I'm always plotting some wicked things. It's in my job description. Don't you think it's a bit too late now to worry about that?"

Nadir was clearly annoyed by him. Erik hoped he would be annoyed enough to leave. But things rarely went as he hoped, especially when it concerned someone else.

Nadir lunged at him instead.

Surprised, Erik almost shouted. "Don't come any closer!"

"Why?" Nadir stopped as he was told then demanded fiercely. Erik realised he had no appropriate answer to that. "See? You're acting strangely again. You've been acting oddly different around me lately. You also kept avoiding me. I want to know why."

Oh how could he forget that Nadir was a daroga, the chief of police, of course, he would notice. Erik was indeed a stupid fool.

He was in a precarious situation right now. He really needed to get out before things got complicated. But there were some problems, first, this was his house it shouldn't be him who had to leave, but if he must leave, there came the second problem, that Persian dolt, who was also the center of this whole problem, was blocking his way out right now and seemed determined not to let him go so easily.

What should he do then? Kill him? He almost snorted at the first solution his mind came up with. He couldn't even harm him, for god's sake! Perhaps doing too much work for the sultana had somehow corrupted his mind.

So, Erik did the only thing he could think of, that he was certain it would rid him of his problem, at least for now.

He yanked his mask off and tossed it to the floor, intending to use his bare face as the ultimate weapon. He had never willingly taken his mask off in front of Nadir before, despite how much time they'd spent together. He'd always been afraid.

But when a man was desperate he would either be bold or stupid. And when a man was desperate and had an embarrassing dark secret to hide he could be both.

After seeing what Erik had done, the daroga's eyes went wide for a second; it was fast before he could collect himself, but Erik knew. He knew because he was staring at him, seeking every sign of disgust or fear or hatred on that face. But Nadir had none of that. His eyes shone with something else, something close to anger.

The air around them seemed to shift when Nadir slowly stalked toward him. The fierce glare that bore into his eyes sent shivers down his spine. Erik stepped back on instinct.

Now he was confused about why Nadir reacted like this. He couldn't read his intention. But Nadir kept coming closer and Erik kept retreating backward until his back hit a desk, then it was too late to turn around.

Nadir came close to him now, far too close for his liking. He stabbed his finger angrily at Erik's chest.

"You unbelievable bastard! What do you think you are doing!? Do you think your face would scare me off? You have insulted me, Erik. I don't like being insulted like this!"

From Nadir's words, Erik's anger emerged. He pushed him away. "But you should! Everyone is scared by my face and you must be no exception!"

Nadir staggered away one step but he immediately closed the distance again. This time he got even closer. The anger visibly in his heated gaze.

"I've seen your face before. Do you think our friendship has something to do with your face? Do you believe I'll leave you just because of this face? Let me show you how your face affects me."

Nadir stepped in, erasing all the space between them, and leaned his perfect face close to his hideous skull of a face as if to prove a point. Erik tried to lean back away from him as far as he could, all the while trying to push him off.

So, in the process, they ended up half lying on the desk, Erik's upper body pressed to the desktop with Nadir on top of him, both his bony wrists being pinned by Nadir's hands.

Nadir's green eyes swept over his face then stared intensely into his eyes. "Nothing," he declared, "I feel nothing, Erik."

On the contrary, Erik felt everything; the warmth of Nadir's body seeping through him, his skin prickling under Nadir's touch, his heart hammering in his chest. Knowing that this situation wasn't good for him at all, he struggled to break free. That resulted in the daroga pressing him even more to the desk.

The feelings of Nadir's hard body pressing firmly against him started to affect Erik. He knew Nadir didn't mean to make him feel like this. He knew he shouldn't feel like this.

And yet, his body started to react on its own. He could feel his blood rushing down. He tried desperately to calm his racing heart. But every second he was under that warm body, it only fueled his sensation.

He closed his eyes and prayed that Nadir wouldn't notice it and just let him go.

Of course, for a sinner like him, his prayer would never be heard.

When Nadir shifted his weight, Erik gasped. Nadir's eyes narrowed suspiciously. He accidentally moved his hip again and this time Erik whimpered.

The Persian froze instantly, eyes wide in surprise. He released him and stepped back just enough to have a good look on him.

Erik met his eyes, panting slightly, still lying on the desk defeatedly. Nadir's eyes wide in confusion.

"What..." His eyes traveled from Erik's face downward, then he stared at the obvious bulge on his pants for a brief moment. When those eyes were back on him again with the now understanding look, Erik knew instantly that he was going to lose his only friend.

Slowly, ashamedly, he pushed himself up and away from the desk. He smoothed his clothing and his hair with his hands and tried to regain himself.

He cast his eyes down, didn't want to see the disgusted look that must undoubtedly be there on his friend's face.

"Now you know the truth," he said weakly and closed his eyes in resignation. "Feel free to leave. And, please, close the door on your way out."

He expected to hear the door being opened and closed, instead, he felt Nadir's body coming close again.

The daroga used his two fingers to lift Erik's chin up, forcing him to meet his eyes.

To his surprise, Nadir didn't seem disgusted. However, his expression was hard to read.

"I don't know, Erik." His voice was gentle but his words were teasing enough that Erik almost considered killing him again. "What truth do you possibly mean?"

Clearly, he knew! Why on earth he needed him to say it!

But before Erik could lash out on him, without warning, Nadir's hand palmed him through his pants, drawing a little choke of surprise from him. The Persian was slowly feeling up his length and Erik was rapidly feeling like dying.

"What...are you doing, Daroga?" He asked, already breathless.

"Just trying to find out what truth you mean. You like assuming things. I like gathering evidence."

He then started stroking him through the fabric of his pants and Erik couldn't master his voice anymore. Only some little moans that he couldn't help escaped his mouth.

"Oh, Erik, you actually like this." Each stroke was painfully slow, but it effectively aroused him. "There is one thing I really need to know, though."

Nadir stopped the movement of his hand. "Look at me, Erik," he commanded and Erik easily complied. Nadir's eyes held something meaningful when he asked. "Do you really want me or this could be anyone else?"

Erik forced his brain to think about the countless nights he'd tried to think of anyone else but this man. Every time it'd drive back to him no matter how hard he tried. The truth revealed itself in his mind. He wanted him. Always him. Only him. But he was too scared to admit that.

"Why do you want to know?" He asked instead. "It isn't like you want me anyway."

"See? You like assuming things, Erik." Nadir took one of Erik's hand and guided it to his own fly. "Here is the evidence."

He could feel the hardness under the garment. His eyes went wide at what he found.

"But...but you can't possibly...." He was both shocked and even more aroused.

"What? Want you?"

"But my face!"

"Did you even listen to what I said earlier?" Nadir seemed tired.

"You can't..." He still couldn't believe this.

"How do you want me to prove it to you then? By fucking you perhaps?"

"God..." Erik whimpered at the sheer word. Nadir's hand resumed stroking his shaft again, this time with more force than before. Erik's head tipped back by the sudden desire, his body swaying a little back and forth.

Nadir gently pushed Erik backward until his back hit the desk again. Erik planted both hands on the hard surface behind him for support. Now with something he could hold on to, he felt more secure.

"How long have you been wanting me, Erik?" Nadir was still touching him. Overwhelmed with need, Erik closed his eyes and panted hard. He didn't notice while Nadir was unfastening his pants, so he literally jumped when he felt the warmth of Nadir's bare hand on his sensitive part.

"Oh, Nadir!" Erik cried out. He couldn't do anything but moan. This was his dream. He still couldn't believe this was happening.

"Since you paid me a visit that night perhaps?" Nadir continued. "You left without saying a word. That was rude, you know? Not to mention breaking in my house."

"How..." Erik swallowed. "How do you know?" He managed to ask.

Nadir chuckled slightly. "Darius saw you leaving my house. He said you seemed to be in a hurry. Well, I wonder what did you see in there that made you so hurry."

Oh, he knew! He knew all this time and he didn't say a word!

Nadir pressed closer to him and took one of Erik's hand and placed it on his fly. Taking the hint, Erik started to undo his pants with trembling hands, his heart racing with anticipation.

When he finally put his hands on Nadir he couldn't help but moan loudly as if he was the one being touched. Nadir was beautiful even on his sensitive part. He watched his own white bony hand wrapping around him; the sheer picture sent a spark up his spine and made him groan.

He started giving him some experimental touches, sliding his hands up and down, barely applying any pressure. He heard Nadir humming approvingly and felt him growing harder in his hands. He licked his lips and sped up the movement, couldn't stop watching his hands going up and down his length.

Then, Nadir's hand was covering his. He stepped in even more closer and put himself alongside him in his other hand, and by using both hands, he touched both of them at the same time. The first contact of flesh against flesh made Erik's knees quiver. He needed to close his eyes because the picture alone was too much to take and the feeling was too overwhelmed.

Erik gripped the edge of the desk tightly when Nadir began to stroke more firmly. Between moans and grunts he heard Nadir's voice, low with need, "do you know what else in my mind right now?"

Nadir then put his mouth to his ear, hot breath hitting his skin, and he whispered, "I wonder how often do you think of me when you pleasure yourself. I wonder how many times you think of yourself getting fucked by me."

"God. Nadir...Nadir..." Erik couldn't form any coherent sentences right now. All he could do was saying his name and his name just felt so right.

Nadir kept stroking him in time with each word, and Erik kept chanting his name between moans like he was under a spell. Then, Nadir kissed down his throat; hot mouth against his usually cold skin lit his whole body on fire.

He bared his throat for him, writhing under him, trying to get more. He could feel one of Nadir's hands sliding lower and further to the area no one had ever touched, including himself, feeling his fingers brushing against it, not quite pressing in, just circling around for a short while before he withdrew his fingers. Erik gasped at the new sensation, his heart thundering in his chest he wondered if Nadir could hear it.

Nadir nibbed and licked at the shell of his ear and he continued that sinful mouth with his sultry voice against it. "I wonder what it feels like to fuck that tight little hole of yours and let you fuck my fist at the same time - _ah_ just like that." He pumped them both frantically now and Erik's hip bucked into his hand uncontrollably.

With the right amount of pressure and the fact that this was indeed Nadir doing this to him, it was almost unbearable.

Erik felt like he was getting tossed around across the surface, yanking up high into the sky, then, eventually, being torn into pieces.

Suddenly, it was so quiet; now he was floating, feeling so light and empty, he let himself go completely and everything went white for a while.

*

When he came to again, he was lying on his bed. He didn't remember how he got here. His mind was slowly adjusting. For a moment, he wondered if everything did actually happen or it was just a dream his perverted mind had created.

When Nadir emerged into his view with a towel in his hand Erik wasn't sure how he should react. A part of him was relieved that it did indeed happen, another part was worried for the very same reason.

So many things came into his head. What Nadir would think of him now? What would become of them?

Surely, that must not mean anything special to Nadir. It was just something friends did to each other, wasn't it? Actually, he didn't know that, for he didn't have many friends and he'd never done this before.

But, how he wished this would mean something to Nadir as it meant to him right now.

"That was intense, I understand," Nadir said, interrupting his thought, with a smirk.

He came to sit on the edge of the bed and used the wet towel to clean the sweat on Erik's face and neck. At that moment Erik realised he wasn't wearing his mask. He hurriedly turned his head away from Nadir.

"You should go home," Erik said, despite himself. "It must be very late now."

"I already told Darius not to wait for me tonight."

"But still, you should go, your son-"

"Erik, look at me." Nadir's voice was gentle so Erik turned his head back to him.

His emerald eyes pinned him into place, then, slowly, Nadir gently caressed his cheek with his hand. There were many things in his gaze but none Erik dared to understand. Still, Erik held his eyes, unable to look away.

After what felt like hours, Nadir leaned his head down until his lips almost touched his. Erik was holding his breath, waiting with a shuddering heart. Nadir was searching for something in his eyes and Erik didn't know what he saw in him.

When Nadir finally sealed their lips together, Erik felt like his heart was going to explode. Nadir's lips moved against him in a way that took his breath away.

Sharing a kiss with Nadir somehow felt even more intimate than what they had done earlier. Not only because it was his first kiss, but it showed how Nadir cared so much about him to give him a kiss, and even on his mouth!

Erik felt the heat burning his face and his eyes brimming with tears. He couldn't form his voice for a long time after Nadir first kissed him. And Nadir kissed him again and again until Erik was sobbing. He used both arms to crunch Nadir down to him and began to cry in the crook of his shoulder.

He tried to think of the proper reason behind these unbelievable things that were happening to him. There was only one explanation that made the most sense; he must already be dead and this must be heaven for all this to actually happen.

"Don't vanish yet, please, let me have this longer," he quietly begged whoever was listening. "Let me have this before you drag me to hell where I deserve."

Nadir tried to push himself up but Erik tightened his hold.

"Erik," he heard Nadir's voice. "Erik, let me go, please, I promise I won't go anywhere."

Reluctantly, Erik released him. Nadir pushed himself up but still hovering closely over him. He took Erik's hand and placed it on his chest. Erik could feel the steady rhythm of a heart beating underneath the warmth of Nadir's chest under his hand.

"Does this feel real enough for you?" Nadir asked after a short moment.

Erik still wasn't entirely convinced. How could he be so sure? Anything could happen in heaven!

When Erik didn't answer Nadir cupped his cheek instead, gently at first, then he pinched at it, hard.

Erik cried out in surprise. "Why!?" He rubbed at his cheek where it stung badly, so this was real after all.

"Now does that feel real enough? You idiot." Nadir moved up to sit properly now. "At first you wanted to get rid of me. Now you just decided I'm not even real. What am I to you?"

Erik chewed on his lip, suddenly feeling the urge to explain. He didn't want Nadir to get him wrong. "You must understand, Daroga, no one ever wanted Erik. It's not easy for him to believe this. No matter how much he wants to, there is always this voice whispering in his head. It's always there, Nadir, I can't control it."

While he was speaking, he could feel tears forming in his eyes again. He hated it, this weakness. If Nadir somehow got charmed by his skills or his voice, now, after seeing this pathetic side of him, he would never want him again.

Nadir used his knuckle to wipe away tears from the corner of Erik's eyes. Then, he moved his hand down, past his neck, caressing his chest. "I'm willing to prove it again how much I want you, if you want," his voice was low and sweet, all seducing. Erik groaned at his suggestion.

"No...no. If you do that again I will literally die this time, Nadir. I mean it!"

Nadir just laughed - ah he was so annoying. "At least let me stay the night," he asked.

Erik hesitated. "Do I have a choice?"

Nadir frowned. "Don't you want it, Erik, me in your bed?"

There was a pause before Erik dared to ask. "Do you also want to, Nadir?"

They were holding eyes with each other. Erik was searching for a hint of a lie in Nadir's eyes.

"Yes. I want to," Nadir whispered, "very much."

There was nothing but sincerity in those green eyes and Erik felt his heart leapt in his chest. He nodded and they both smiled.

*

In the darkness, on the bed, under the blanket, there were two men cuddling close to each other. All the scenes in Erik's previous imagination never came close to this. He had never pictured them like this. He had never dreamed this far. He had never dared.

And here he was, lying in Nadir's arm, his head resting on Nadir's shoulder. He felt tender lips brushed against his forehead. Ah, now Erik definitely felt all the happiness in the world! 

"I've missed you," Nadir's voice cut through the darkness, then he sighed and tightened his embrace. "Please, Erik, don't do anything like that again. If you have any problems with me, please, talk to me. Don't just run away like this."

"I'm sorry," Erik mumbled. "But how could I tell you that? I was afraid you would hate me."

"So you decided to ditch me first instead."

Erik buried his face more into Nadir. He mumbled again, "I said I'm sorry."

He could feel Nadir sighed again. A kiss was placed on his forehead again. And he could feel the happiness rush through him again.

They stayed silent after that, Erik was content just from the warmth of another body pressed against him, long until Erik finally felt himself being drawn into sleep.

In his slumberous state, he heard Nadir's voice whispering so lightly in the dark as if it wasn't for him to hear.

"You have no idea what you've done to me, Erik. You have no idea."

Erik wondered what that meant but Nadir's warm body drew him into sleep at last.


End file.
